Becoming the woman I want to be, even when I don’t feel like her yet
Today I’m writing from a place of honesty, not inspiration. I don’t feel like the strongest version of myself right now. I feel stuck somewhere between who I’ve always been and who I’m trying to become. Some days I wake up motivated and hopeful, and some days I feel heavy, sad, and convinced that maybe I’ll never get there. But I’m starting to realize that becoming her isn’t going to happen overnight. Change takes time, patience and a lot of work!
Let’s talk about how hard it is to smile and pretend that everything is fine when all you want to do is lay in bed and hide from the world. Social media has convinced us that everyone’s highlight reels and pretty pictures are reality. Constantly feeding our brain these lies can take a toll on our mental health. When we compare our life to the curated fantasy that we are being fed, we begin to think that something is our wrong with us. I’m here to remind you (and myself) that people envy your life too! We always think that the grass is greener on the other side, and that’s a lie! We’re all fighting our own battles. Be patient with yourself! You’re doing your best!
The woman that I’m trying to become is a badass! She’s healthy, active and confident. She has a passion for helping other women find their purpose and happiness. She doesn’t let fear stop her. She uses her talents to grow her business and community. She leads by example and shows other women what’s possible. She’s finally able to travel the world and create memories with her family. I’m not her yet, but I’m learning how to become her one day at a time.
In the mean time, I’m stuck in the messy middle! This stage is full of self doubt, insecurities and negative self talk. It’s knowing what you want, but not knowing how to get there. It’s putting in the work and not seeing results. It’s that little voice that keeps telling you to settle for what you already have.
I refuse to settle. I’m grateful for everything in my life yet I know that there’s nothing wrong with wanting more. I will continue to give myself grace on my bad days and use every ounce of energy on the good days. Hard work will pay off.
I’m not the woman I want to be yet, but I’m becoming her. Even on the days I don’t feel strong. Even when I want to hide. Even when progress feels invisible. I’m choosing to believe that every small step counts. One day, I’ll look back and realize I became her in the middle of the days I felt the weakest. And if you’re in your own messy middle too, just know that you’re becoming her too. Keep going. We got this!
Learn more about me HERE
Connect with me on Instagram @jackiesilva.official
